K9News-Revival
Credo Quia Absurdum Est
NEWS, SATIRE AND COMMENTARY WITH A BITE
  Front Page | Page [2] 3 [4] [5] [6] [7]  Print Version 
Santiago  brings  back  the Inquisition
What is an Inquisition?

     An inquisition is a rigorous and harsh investigation that violates the rights of the individual. A fanatical form of tyrannical justice/discipline used to change the minds of persons who possess principles contrary to the authority. The Inquisition was also used to root out non-believers from a group.

Auto-da-fe

    The Auto-da-fe was the ceremony accompanying the pronouncement of judgment by the Inquisition and followed by the performing of the sentence by the secular authorities. These ceremonies were held as public spectacle.

How it worked.

    Accused heretics (non-believers or people with beliefs contrary to the Inquisitor) were brought before the Inquisitor. They were given a chance to confess their heresy and encouraged to indict other heretics. If they admitted their wrongs and turned in other transgressors they were either released or sentenced to a prison penalty. If they did not admit their heresy or indict others an auto-da-fe was held and they were publicly killed or sentenced to life in prison.

The Grand Inquisitor (1483)

    In 1483 Tomas de Torquemada became the inquisitor-general for most of Spain. He was responsible for establishing the rules of inquisitorial procedure and established local tribunals of the Inquisition.

The Grand Inquisitor (2003)

    In 2003 Joseph J. Santiago became the latest Police Director in Trenton. Few could have known at the time that he would soon revive the ways of the Inquisition and use them to reshape the hearts and minds of the police department. A little man, both in stature and standing, Santiago began to weld his perverted sword of command. Riding roughshod over the department, mounted upon the backs of a handful of spineless imps, Santiago began his assault on the officers of the department
    To be brought before Grand Inquisitor Santiago for most, spells doom. Those who do not convert and conform are vanquished to the dreaded Tower of Irrelevance, where the specter bleacher seating and bunk-desks looms large. For those pitiful officers not possessing command rank, a more insidious punishment awaits. The wretched refuse find no quarter in Santiago and would gladly suffer the Tower of Irrelevance in place of their fate, for they are doomed to be the subject of constant transfers to shifts and positions for which they are undeserving. It is of little consequence that these transfers fail to serve the residents of the city, so long as they serve the whims of the sinister despot and Grand Inquisitor Santiago.

Tower of Irrelevance

    Built in 1972 and originally designed to hold the Planning Section, the area now servers as the Tower of Irrelevance. This third floor room currently houses Santiago’s disenfranchised minions of command. Those sent to the Tower have all committed the grievous offense of disagreeing with Santiago. As if by some cruel twist of irony, these seven men (each of them a Captain or Deputy Chief) have been fated to be commanded by Deputy Director Hemsey. Hemsey, a lifelong patrolman, who for a short time held the Detective title (for payroll reasons only), is the latest sciolist to rise to prominence at the hand of Mayor Palmer. “The Tower of Irrelevance is money well spent,” said Mayor Palmer. “Those men are all being housed in an area that only cost about $30,000 in 1972. It’s a bargain to say the least,” Palmer added.
    It is believed that the only hope for escape from the Tower is to convert to Joeyism. But conversion likely won’t be enough. To once again become a useful member of the department, these commanders must promise to never disagree with Santiago. The law, Constitution and general principals of ethics must never again bar their way for carrying out Santiago’s will.
    Compounding the Inquisition is the fact that it is occurring with the tacit support of City Council and Mayor Palmer. Refusal to act is an act in itself.