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FBI   begins   investigating   possible   X-File   in   Trenton

TRENTON (AP) - The real life versions of FBI Agents Mulder and Scully will soon be snooping around the city. The K9News learned that two agents from FBI Headquarters will be investigating an incident at City Hall, which borders on the supernatural.
    This past Monday the Mayor's office received a package containing fifty award ribbons. The ribbons were for the newly created "Santiago/Palmer Ethics and Morality Award" and were to be presented to officers at the department's annual award ceremony.
    The ribbons designed by Mayor Palmer and Director Santiago were supposed to have three light brown wheat sheaves on a royal purple enamel background with a silver border. However, when the box was opened, employees were shocked to find that the ribbons did not look as the were intended.
    The design of the most recent shipment of ribbons, like a similar shipment two weeks ago, was mysteriously altered after being packed for shipping. The dazzling royal purple enamel background mysteriously changed to a dingy shade of money-green and the once brilliant luster of the silver border was now covered with tarnish. The wheat sheaves, chosen because of their presence on the City seal, has also experienced some macabre shape shifting ordeal. The wheat sheaves were replaced by two hands, opened and stretched toward a winged money bag. Most disturbing to observers is that the once straight metal and enamel bars have somehow warped during shipping. "Every one of them was bent," said one City Hall worker.
    The award ribbons in the first package, received April 20th, were found in the identical condition as the recent shipment. Administration officials believed that somebody intercepted the first package and swapped the ribbons as a joke. According to one source in City Hall, the Mayor's office suspects the prank is the work of some disgruntled PBA members.

In the intended design of the Palmer/Santiago "Ethics and Morality Award" ribbon, regal purple was used to represent purity in leadership and the wheat sheaves represented the bounty obtained through hard work.

During shipping, the symbols of ethics and morality somehow came to have symbols that represent all that is unethical. Hands reaching for the money somehow caused the ribbon to bend, or become "crooked".

    PBA President Len Cipriano laughed when shown a photograph of the altered ribbons. However, Cipriano became irate when told about the suspicions of the Mayor's office.
    "Look, Santiago and Palmer got together and designed an "Ethics and Morality" ribbon and just because the ribbins arrive in a perverted form they look toward the PBA as the cause," Cipriano said. "I've never been a believer in the super-natural, but this is changing my mind," he continued. "The supernatural thing or force that did this, either has a great sense of humor or has terrific insight!"
    Cipriano summed up the new look and his interpretation as to the meaning. "The background is money green, the silver is tarnished and two hands are reaching for cash. Sounds more like a ribbon I would have designed for them," said Cipriano, all the while laughing. "The city spin doctors are working overtime on this one. I can't believe they described it as "bent". Now let's be honest, it's not bent, it's crooked. Damn crooked!"
    Chris Carter, the creator of the television series "X-Files," expressed interest in the ribbon incident. "An ethics award, created by politicians, goes through some strange metamorphisis during shipping; and when it arrives it symbolizes all things anti-ethical. That's definately an X-File type of occurrence," said Carter. "But I sure feel bad for the city."

New Sergeants to get No-Class classes
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    "The books that the Director's office wants to order for training the new sergeants are totally innapropriate," said one command officer. "These are not the values that should be stressed when preparing to promote officers."
    When asked about the choice of books, Mayor Palmer said, "I'm not concerned with the ethical standards at the departmemt or how it is managed. All that matters is a drop in crime statistics."
    One Training Officer told the K9News, "When all else fails, people revert to what they know best. Given the number of failures in the Director's office, this should not be a surprise."  »Click For Large Books