K9News-Revival
 Credo Quia Absurdum Est
NEWS, SATIRE AND COMMENTARY WITH A BITE
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New Website Examines Police Management   and   Efficiency.

TRENTON - Trenton residents have another source for information about their police department. A new website, armed with data obtained through the Open Public Records Act (OPRA), is already causing a stir among the city brass.
Trenton Facts (trentonfacts.com) was created by Trenton police officer William “Butch” Osterman and promises to “take an honest look at the way the Trenton Police Department spends money, reports crime and ignores the truth.” Osterman also views the site as a work in progress and says that while the main attention of the site is the police department, he will explore other areas of the city government as well.
In addition to a commentary section, Trenton Facts uses data obtained from the police department to expose inefficiency in the department. Pages dedicated to overtime expenditure and the numbers of arrests, traffic summonses and drunk driving are filled with graphs demonstrating changes over the years.
The most recent topic of Trenton Facts involves the purchase and replacement policy for the city’s police motorcycles. Osterman not only succeeds in exposing the egregious spending practice, but also through the use of photographs, reports on the odometer readings for three of the six motorcycles. Three of the almost year-old motorcycles have a cumulative mileage of less than 330 miles. Two of the motorcycles have less than 40 miles on the odometer. All six motorcycles will be replaced soon, as per the contract with the dealer.
When asked if the data was accurate, Osterman said, “All of the data on the site can be verified by the public and the media through OPRA. I can’t help if it’s embarrassing to the city. They created the situation, not me.”
For more information about what records are subject to OPRA and to learn how to file OPRA requests, go to www.nj.gov/opra.

City Finishes Construction of Newest   Abandoned   Building.

TRENTON -       Homeless people in Trenton are preparing to move into the city’s first publicly subsidized abandoned building. Construction of the building at the corner of Broad and Front streets ended many weeks ago and its tenants are

This recently finished, tax-funded, abandoned building may soon be the site of the Douglas H. Palmer Homeless Shelter.     » enlarge photo

planning to move in soon. The building, which has become an eyesore for downtown business owners and an embarrassment for Mayor Palmer, may soon be housing over 300 of the city’s homeless.
 Residents of Trenton’s Rescue Mission were surprised to learn that construction was completed. As word spread that the building would have only one wall, surprise turned to anger.
“How can they expect us to live in there in the winter with just one wall?” said one mission resident. “At first I thought they knew what they were doing. All concrete and metal means no fire hazard. But one wall, where the hell did they learn how to build abandoned building at?”
The K9News didn’t have the heart to tell the residents of the mission that only two of the five stories have a wall. The remaining floors have no walls at all.
The residents of the mission stated they are considering pursuing a referendum vote to have the building named the “Dougla H. Palme Homeles Shelt.”
“When he finishes the building, we will finish the name,” said a female resident.

Are the Pro-Active Units finally returning?

"Colorful Joe" Colors Subordinate Blue

Rumors have been circulating through the police department that the much-vaunted Pro-Active Units will soon be returning to the street. According to rumors, the new units are to be comprised of roughly the same number of officers as the old Pro-active units. However, in conversations around the building, the new unit is being referred to as the “Super Unit,” because no name has been developed yet. One thing appears certain; it is not likely that the unit will be named Pro-Active. Department insiders stated that for Director Santiago to call the unit Pro-Active would be seen as a sign of failure.
Director Santiago disbanded the Pro-Active units over a year ago and created the TAC unit. Although similar, the TAC unit does not perform the same level of concentrated drug enforcement.
Insiders believe Mayor Palmer will announce the “Super Unit” at tonight’s State of the City Address to create a “political splash.” Whatever the name of the unit, Pro-Active is welcome back!

The night that Joe Santiago was formally introduced to Trenton, he stood in front of City Council and a packed council chamber and proudly proclaimed that he would “lead by example.” Apparently Director Santiago is having second thoughts about his plan.
Last month, as you may recall, Director Santiago was charged with verbally berating a parking attendant with a string of expletives. Mayor Palmer called Santiago “colorful” in his personality and suggested this to be an asset, not a fault.
Earlier this month, Santiago, in his role as disciplinarian, heard charges against a sergeant. One of the infractions this sergeant faced was using profanity while inside of headquarters.
At the disciplinary hearing Director Santiago decided to issue a “Verbal Reprimand” for the infraction of cursing in the building. The director did not deem the use of such language as acceptable. Nor did he slough the incident off because the sergeant was just being colorful.